Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.” –Romans 12:2
Yesterday was rough. All the usual first-day syptoms were there: tiredness, headache, HUNGER, and yes a little irritability. Par for the course.
Now, generally a fast is a discipline reserved for specific circumstances: mourning, repentance, desperation to hear God’s voice on a particular subject in your life, desperation to see God act on a certain situation in your life or even on a global scale. Typically, my Fasting Friday posts will revolve around the final option, praying for Him to move in the lives of persecuted Christians worldwide. Today, it revolves around the third: desperation for His voice.
Within the last couple years my relationship to Christ has been revolutionized (thanks in large part to my first fast). I made a commitment to Him, not just “please take me to heaven when I die,” but “my life is completely Yours even while I’m on earth.” It’s been not nearly as easy as I would have liked and way more complicated in some senses than I ever imagined. But I told Jesus, “Whatever You want from me, You got it. Whatever You ask, I’ll do. No questions asked. I’m in this.”
He has always opened doors for me at exactly the right moment, but I haven’t always heard His voice when I wanted to. Like right now. I’ve felt like I’m at the edge of a huge life-altering decision, yet silence on the other end of the phone. I’ve rationalized, reasoned, sought counsel, prayed, hoped, waited. Still nothing.
So, it’s time to fast.
But it kind of struck me yesterday, what if this isn’t as life-altering as I thought? What if it’s just another step on the journey? What if, instead of a fork in the road, it’s just a mile marker? What if I don’t even have to make a decision right now? What if it’s not as urgent as I thought, but rather I’m freaking out thinking that I have to know everything right now? (Cuz God ALWAYS reveals His plans as soon as I demand them. Riiiiight……)
So, I said all that to say this: If you’re stressing out about something–even something serious–maybe it isn’t really what you think it is. Maybe it is, but maybe not. Maybe you need to take some time to remove yourself from the moment, get alone with God, and renew your perspective. Maybe this fast will end up being not about me hearing His voice, but accepting His silence and trusting Him, not only to speak when He decides it’s time, but to give me peace until such time arrives.