New years always come with so-called resolutions, promises we make to ourselves about who we want to become. The first month of the new year is already gone. Is the year still new anymore?
In recent months, I’ve leaned more heavily on my spiritual mentors, receiving counseling. I was at a fork in the road and couldn’t decide which path to take. Much to my dismay, no one gave me a clear answer on which one was better. They presented evidence, scriptures, advice, but they kept relaying that God gives us opportunities to choose for ourselves. It came down to figuring out what I wanted and whether or not that lined up with what God wanted.
The two did not coincide. I chose my own path for a time, hoping and praying that it was what God wanted. When it became clear that that wasn’t the case, I wept, mourned. I felt torn straight down the center of my being. The poem I posted last week was birthed out of the experience.
But after a fierce internal battle (with trusted prayer warriors by my side). I broke my will, in addition to several people’s hearts. I sacrificed it to my Father as a living offering. I’m still learning what it is to surrender, and surrender is a choice, a daily lather-rinse-repeat kind of choice.
Choices don’t determine all of who you are, but they play a key role, so I do encourage you to examine your choices. Ask yourself some questions.
- Who do I want to be?
- Why do I value that identity?
- Does that identity match that of Jesus?
- How do I go about becoming that? How can Christ help me achieve it?
I’ll share the commitment that I wrote last night based off of Psalm 101:2-4, 6-8. I encourage you to make your own after assessing your identity goals.
I will behave myself wisely & give heed to the blameless way revealed to me by the wise people You, God have sent to teach me. My eyes shall look with favor upon the faithful so the remembrance of their deeds will minister to me.
I will walk within the house of my heart & among the witnesses I continually encounter in integrity & with a blameless heart. I will purpose to know no evil person or thing; instead I will re-intimate myself with purity & truth.
I will set no base or wicked thing before my eyes; instead I will lift my eyes to the hills & behold You, Lord. I will not let the work of the wicked grasp hold of me. A perverse heart shall depart from me. He who works deceit shall not dwell in my heart. I will refute the Liar at every turn with the words of the Truth.
Morning after morning I will root up all the wicked in my heart and mind that I may eliminate all the evil from the Temple of the Holy Spirit which You Lord have entrusted to me. By the grace & power of Christ I will be faithful to these vows.