WordPress informs me that three years ago, today, I began blogging. In honor of the occasion, I’d like to use today as a kick-start to share my journey through the KYLO devotional plan on YouVersion. You can download the YouVersion app and join me on this plan.
Day 1 is about choices. Danny Silk states that choosing others is the healthy foundation for relationship with others, not simply responding to them choosing you. The latter leaves the relationship susceptible to wavering and even collapse. Love is choice.
Does someone need to choose you first for you to feel connected to him/her?
What motivation will you have to choose others when they may not return liking for liking?
Something that’s so obvious in my baby sister is her inability to process rejection in a healthy manner. She interprets all sorts of things as personal rejection, many of which are not. Being the sensitive person she is, this often results in a pool of tears on her end and several minutes of calming and explaining on my or my mother’s end. Like many members of our family, she will put out a lot of effort for others because she loves to give. But when she doesn’t feel that her efforts and affections are reciprocated, she starts to break down.
She may only be six (going on seven!) but many adults have the same reactions. I’ve never been too sensitive, but I do have a strong inner desire to be wanted, to have my company enjoyed and my efforts appreciated. I tend to crave attention if I don’t check my attitudes and motivations on a regular basis, so I often react to others “choosing” me by attaching myself to them and chasing more and more of their attention, finding ways to make them “choose” me over and over again.
On the flip side, even though I am friendly. I sometimes have a hard time “choosing” others, taking real interest in what makes them who they are. I love to learn and analyze and dissect, but that’s studying, not socializing. I have to remind myself that people aren’t merely calculations: they are creations, living and breathing images of God, unique and worth my respect and empathy.
Connection is always easier when someone else initiates it. But as Christians, we are not called to “easy”. We are called to “holy” and “upright”. We are called to love, to be the initiators the way Christ was with us. What’s my motivation for choosing those who may not immediately want to choose me? Am I trying to manipulate them for my own purposes? Or am I trying to show them the love that has been shown to me repeatedly and consistently by the Great Lover?